This post comes from Footsteps to Hajj:

Some of the qualities of a good Muslim character are patience, restraint, humility, gratitude and trust in Allah.  Muslims need to develop these and other good qualities in order to try to please Allah during Ramadan and at hajj.  Ramadan offers Muslims the opportunity to develop these aspects of good character even as we fast and pray for forgiveness during this sacred month. The benefit is that we are then able to draw upon these qualities as we need them during hajj.

Part of success in Ramadan is in learning patience.  We must be patient as the minutes and hours tick by when we feel we are too hungry or too thirsty or too hot or too cold or too tired to get through the day.  We must be patient with the month as a whole, accepting and submitting to the entire process of Ramadan as a time of seeking purification and forgiveness.

O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed to those before you, that you may learn self-restraint. (Quran 2:183)

We learn to exercise restraint during Ramadan whenever we must strive to keep our temper and say, “I am fasting.  I am fasting.  I am fasting” when someone annoys us.  We practice the  Islamic traditions of saying, “I seek refuge from Shaitan” and “Bismillah ir Rahman ir Raheem” when we find ourselves getting angry.   We may walk away, sit or lie down, keep silent, or make wudu.  All of those are ways of avoiding losing our temper when fasting.  We also exercise restraint in keeping our passion for our spouses in check for the entire month except from Maghrib until Fajr.  In the case of either anger or sexual desire, Muslims restrain their impulses to act in a manner that is inappropriate to the fast.

During Ramadan we remember to be humble before Allah when we are too ill to fast.  And we remember to be grateful to Allah during such time for giving us ease in our religion.  We learn to be how humility and gratitude go hand in hand when breaking our fast at the end of a particularly difficult day.  At that moment, we remember that we are helpless and humble before Allah, without Whom we would not have food to eat.  At that moment, we are sincerely grateful to Allah for each drop of water and each morsel of food.

We learn to increase our trust in Allah during in Ramadan.  No one is watching every moment when we have the opportunity to eat or drink during the day, particularly when the fast becomes hard.  Yet instead of disobediently breaking fast ahead of time, we remember to call on Allah for strength, for ease, for help in getting us through to the end of the day.  In other words, we are trusting in Allah to sustain us through periods of difficulty.

For Hajj are the months well known. If any one undertakes that duty therein, Let there be no obscenity, nor wickedness, nor wrangling in the Hajj, and whatever good you do, be sure God knows it. And take a provision With you for the journey, but the best of provisions is right conduct. So fear Me, o you that are wise.  (Quran 2:197)

If we conduct ourselves properly during Ramadan, all of these qualities are strengthened.  When we go to hajj, we can draw on each of these qualities that Allah has allowed us to develop within ourselves, for during hajj all of these qualities will be tried and tested.  We must exercise patience during all phases of travel whether by foot or train or plane or boat or car.  We often need to restrain our anger, however justified, when dealing with hotels, with roommates, with relatives, with authorities, with strangers and with friends.  We rediscover our humility whenever we see the Kaaba, when we circle it, and while fulfilling all of the rites of hajj.  We are grateful then, too, because Allah has called us to His House–an invitation He does not extend to all Muslims.  Over and over again we find that we must trust in Allah to provide for us what we need during the hajj–often when we don’t know or recognize our need ourselves.

Ramadan is an excellent time to train these qualities within us.  To be sure, these are not the only elements of sound and good character in a Muslim–charity, honesty, compassion and many other things go into the making.   But we can be grateful to Allah that He allows us to the chance to prepare for one pillar of our faith–hajj by adhering to the requirements of another pillar–Ramadan. For while we are fasting, we should be mindful that the large and small tests that fill the days of Ramadan also help us build some of the sound elements of character necessary for a hajj with which Allah may be pleased.

For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in Charity, for men and women who fast and deny themselves, for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in God’s praise, for them has God prepared forgiveness and great reward.  (Quran 33:35)

Salat Part 1

Salat Part 2

This is Sheikh Adly teaching salat.  This video is good not just for learning salat for the first time, but also for a review and a way to correct any bad habits–like speeding through the prayer and changing positions too quickly.

Here is an article that gives suggestions about making salat at work, and here is an article that discusses not having made salat in a long time.

Sexuality is taught in a moral vacuum 

Parents have the right to remove their children from sex education classes without affecting the rest of the academic program.  Parents have to remember to opt-out every school year, because sex education classes are taught every year in most places, from elementary school all the way through high school.  If more Muslim parents knew what is in the sex-education curriculum being taught at their child’s school, they would insist that their child be exempted from the classes.  Why should Muslim parents do this? Because public schools teach human sexuality in a moral vacuum without regard for the laws of Islam or any other religion.   The classes go far beyond the basic biological facts and present the haram and the halal without distinction. 

The classes present as ‘alternatives” sexual partners and acts that are not permissible in Islam.  Not just in America, but in other Western countries as well,  Muslim youth in these classes  are given the message  that this value-free perspective is accepted by their parents  as a part of the children’s education.  The result is evident when, in discussing Allah’s guidance for men and women, a Muslim teenager responds with “What’s the big deal?  It’s just sex.”

An important book for Muslim parents and teachers was written by a young Jewish woman, Wendy Shalit. At the beginning of each school year, her parents removed her from the coed sex-education classes in her school.  Her book, A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue discusses sex education and its effects on the behavior of male and female students at various grade levels within the larger context of a permissive society.   She talks about her own experience as an “outsider” to the sex education classes and provides documentation from many sources to support her arguments.

Halal sex is a mercy and a protection

Sex Education: An Islamic Perspective by  Dr. Shahid Athar, ed. also uses a lot of documentation to support his work.  He stresses that it is important that Muslims, adult and children, know that the halal sex is a mercy and a protection from Allah.  Dr. Shahid Athar presents an Islamic viewpoint on public school curriculum and provides instructive responses that Muslim parents and teachers are able to give to children in place of it.   

Safe sex is not the same as halal sex. 

Sex education classes may range from those giving a small amount of information to those with very explicit content.  Some classes even teach the use of condoms with the help of a banana or cucumber.   That is because one focus of sex education classes is on safe sex.  But safe sex is not the same as halal sex.  Safe sex is primarily an issue for those who go beyond the halal:

A new CDC study indicates that one in four (26%) female adolescents in the United States has at least one of the most common sexually transmitted infections (STIs). 

It is all too easy to forget the seriousness of sexual misconduct for Muslims living in  a Western society.  Yet the fact remains, that Allah takes our sexuality very seriously.  Sexual misconduct is treated not just a personal sin, for which one may seek for forgiveness, but as a breach of social order, complete with criminal penalties.  Some of the law concerning sexuality is in  Surah an-Nur (Quran 24:2-9).  A tafsir, or explanation of the verses is in ibn Kathir.

Muslim parents are doing their children a serious disservice by allowing them to become wrongly educated in their thinking about sex when Allah holds them accountable to such a high standard.  Moreover, as parents, we are also accountable to Allah if we allow our children to be taught that sexual choices have no more substance than the choice of a favorite color or a favorite shirt.

Shaban is an important month.  With Ramadan less than a month away, it is your last chance to make up any days missed from last Ramadan.  You cannot, however, fast until the end of the month and continue into Ramadan without a break.

As far as the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is concerned, we’re told by `Aishah, the Mother of the believers (may Allah be please with her) that the Prophet “used to fast most of the days of Sha`ban, but he stopped fasting when he got close to the month of Ramadan.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Based on this, it is considered highly recommended to fast in the early part of Sha`ban and stop fasting the last few days of the month. (Islamonline.net)

The etiquette of fasting demand patience and an even temper, even when someone is trying to start an argument with you:

Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Allah the Exalted and Majestic said: Every act of the son of Adam is for him, except fasting. It is (exclusively) meant for Me and I (alone) will reward it. Fasting is a shield. When any one of you is fasting on a day, he should neither indulge in obscene language, nor raise the voice; or if anyone reviles him or tries to quarrel with him he should say: I am a person fasting. By Him, in Whose Hand is the life of Muhammad, the breath of the observer of fast is sweeter to Allah on the Day of judgment than the fragrance of musk. The one who fasts has two (occasions) of joy, one when he breaks the fast he is glad with the breaking of (the fast) and one when he meets his Lord he is glad with his fast. Emphasis added (Sahih Muslim)

You will also find that fasting before Ramadan helps your body to adjust to fasting more quickly once Ramadan starts.  To find tips on fasting click here.  For more on preparing spiritually for Ramadan click here.

From the time I was first began to study Islam, I found the visual image of the five pillars of faith in Islam unsettling—that Shahadah (testifying there is no god but Allah and Mohammad is His Messenger), Salat ( 5 daily prayers), Ramadan (fasting), Zakat (charity) and Hajj (pilgrimage to Mecca)—were somehow holding my iman, my faith suspended in midair. 

I have come to understand that the reason the image is unsettling is because it so accurate.  Our Islam is indeed suspended above us as a shelter against the trials of this life, and it is only as stable and secure as our obedience to those five pillars makes it.  Whenever our adherence to any of the pillars falters, our Islam shudders.

It is not enough to rely on “being a good person” to sustain us in our faith or help us gain Allah’s mercy in the grave and on the Day of Judgment.  In fact, if we busy ourselves with the task of “being a good person” while ignoring or faltering in our responsibility  to maintain these pillars of faith, we risk falling into the trap of becoming disobedient and arrogant.

It is perhaps easier to recognize the disobedience—either we pray, fast, pay Zakat and make hajj if we are able to do so—or we do not.   Obedience or disobedience.  To think that philanthropy or a nice personality is really going to withstand Allah’s scrutiny in the place of those required actions is unwise. 

Less likely to come mind is the idea the “being a good person” as a replacement for adhering to the pillars of Islam is a consummate act of arrogance, but it is. The underlying assumption that any of us can justify the failure to adhere to the five pillars is that “doing what makes me feel good as a person” somehow has more authority than Allah’s commands.  The same applies to the notion that if “Allah knows my heart”,  then I am entitled to exempt myself from His authority. 

In either case, the assumption reveals an attitude of arrogance: I am the arbiter of my own judgment;  I choose which deeds will have weight with Allah, and they will not be the five pillars, which I have not consistently fulfilled. The attitude of arrogance is, moreover, in direct opposition to the attitude of humility: I am a creation of Allah, dependent upon Him for His Mercy.  I do what Allah has ordered me to do.  

Only if we learn to recognize arrogance and refrain from allowing our judgment to supersede His Commands can we be among those who obey Allah. Only if we recognize that we have to obey Allah can we succeed in adhering to the five pillars.  We may pray that, as our dependence on excuses and feel-good justifications diminish,  our submission and humility will increase.

I am now beginning to understand why the visual image of Islam balanced atop these five pillars was always so unsettling.  The structural integrity of our faith is precarious indeed if all of the pillars are not firmly established and diligently maintained.

He is Allah, the Creator, the Shaper out of naught, the Fashioner. His are the most beautiful names. All that is in the heavens and the earth glorifieth Him, and He is the Mighty, the Wise. (Quran 59:24)

There is no end to fear or anger, grief or pain

When rubbed and polished until it shines

All metallic and cold

And then is entombed tenderly in the chest

Where the heart used to be

Time will not efface or heal the feeling

Held so tightly in place of Allah’s Will

When it fills up the space

Where Islam used to be

There is no sin it will not lead one

To commit in the name

Of revenge or justice or faith or grief or love

Ignore the call; they are falsehoods, all

Submit, accept, forgive, release

Or else there is no peace for the soul

Bound tightly to something all metallic and cold

Against Allah’s degree

In the place where the heart used to be

In the space where Islam used to be

UmmUmar © 2007

The greatest treasure in the world that Allah gives to Muslims is iman. Without iman, we are not Muslim. Being Muslim is a gift from Allah that we did nothing to earn and can not be worthy of having.  We can do nothing to give iman to someone else whom we love, or take it away from anyone we don’t like.  Yet we are oftentimes so careless with this priceless gift of iman. 

Our character as Muslims should be the best.    In America, it has become a cultural pastime to publicly proclaim ourselves to be a victim or a survivor of something, so instead of nurturing the best qualities in ourselves, we frequently excuse and  justify our shortcomings.

Salat is supposed to be the jewel of the day, each prayer glittering in pure, spiritual light–our closely guarded moments of connection to Allah.  Yet too often we will regard salat as a  inconvenience, an intrusion upon our work and play.  We end up making several prayers at once or even squeezing in a prayer or two during the tv commericial breaks. We treat salat casually like an old favorite t-shirt, we won’t discard it, but it is forever stained, buried in the dirty clothes or lost under the bed. 

Our other duties that should help keep us in remberance of Allah suffer as well. The discipline of Ramadan is lost in post-sunset gluttony.  Hajj comes down the list of places to go somewhere after Disney World and before the Grand Canyon.  Sadaqa is given grudgingly, almost fearfully-not wanting to come in contact with the poor-as if poverty were contagious.

We hold our iman so carelessly, not thinking that if we have little regard for iman, the greatest of gifts, we are in danger of ending up in the company of those whom Allah holds in little regard—punished in the grave, thrown into the fire on the day of Judgment.

Instead we should guard our iman as the treasure it truly is, nurturing our iman daily in remembrance of Allah and as we would nurture our own precious child.  We are familiar with the rewards and joys of having children.  The rewards Allah offers us are even greater.

 But those of them who are firm in knowledge and the believers believe in that which is revealed unto thee, and that which was revealed before thee, especially the diligent in prayer and those who pay the poor-due, the believers in Allah and the Last Day. Upon these We shall bestow immense reward.  (Quran 4:162) 

We all love heroes.  But we do not live in a mythical land of dragons and monsters.  We all love champions, but our age and culture do not lend themselves to chivalry.  Alas, we live in the age of public confessions.  We have survivors.  They get their 15 minutes of fame, and we get to love them.  And, of course, we have all manner of competition—in sport and in business—because everyone loves a winner, right?

We spend money on books and classes that tell us how to become survivors and winners.  We spend time and money—sometimes a lot of it—going to sporting events.  We may make going to the Olympics a priority over going to hajj, hoping to take on a patina of victory ourselves simply by being there.

We respond to the person who takes on the tests in life and achieves mastery over them.  Whether it is by becoming a stronger person after a terrible experience or by beating all opponents on the field; all of us appreciate the time, the sacrifice and the emotional endurance it takes to come out on top.  That is, we appreciate success in every arena except Islam.

Being in the presence of one we perceive to be (Allah knows best) a devout Muslim makes us uncomfortable.  We tend to avoid going to places where we know such a person is likely to be.  We prefer not feeling as if we have to moderate our dress, our behavior, our eating or drinking around them.  And should we pray, just because they’re there?

We dislike having the devout Muslim remind us of how to be stronger in our Islam.  Devout Muslims are not loved by us.  They are not emulated by us.  They are labeled old-fashioned, misguided, out-of-step, crazy, fanatic.  Muslims men who go to the masjid for fajr prayer—as Muslim men are supposed to do—have their names put on suspected terrorist lists.  It’s an open secret, is it not, that this happens not just in America and other Western countries, but in Muslim countries as well?

The next time we want to spend an hour or two watching survivors, millionaires or athletes, we should ask ourselves why we would rather expend so much of our personal resources on those who offer us a glimpse of success in this brief life.  Isn’t the success of our souls in the timelessness of the hereafter more important? If the answer to that last question is yes, then we should think about giving up our survivors and winners in favor of those who will remind us to remember Allah.

We say that we trust in Allah.  What we often mean is that we trust Allah to run the very big things and the very small things–the Universe, the Day of Judgement, the angels and jinn, the Earth, atoms, zillions of tiny and annoying insects–but when it comes down to the personal stuff–the events in our own lives, we actually don’t trust in Allah the way we are supposed to.  Not really.

“The Rope” comes from Radio Islam:

The night fell heavy in the heights of the mountains and the man could not see anything. All was black. Zero visibility, and the moon and the stars were covered by the clouds. As he was climbing only a few feet away from the top of the mountain, he slipped and fell into the air, falling at great speed. He could only see black spots as he went down, and the terrible sensation of being sucked by gravity.

 He kept falling. And in the moments of great fear, it came to his mind all the good and bad episodes of his life. He was thinking now about how close death was getting, when all of a sudden he felt the rope tied to his waist pull him very hard. His body was hanging in the air.

 Only the rope was holding him and in that moment of stillness he had no other choice other to scream: “Help me Allah”.

All of a sudden a deep voice coming from the sky answered, “What do you want me to do?”

“Save me Allah”.

“Do you really think I can save you?”

“Of course I believe You can.”

“Then cut the rope tied to your waist.”

 There was a moment of silence and the man decided to hold onto the rope with all his strength. The rescue team tells that the next day a climber was found dead and frozen. His body hanging from a rope. His hands holding tight to it. Only 1 foot away from the ground.

 Conclusion: And We? How attached we are to our rope will we let go??? Don’t ever doubt about the words of Allah. We should never say that He has forgotten us or abandoned us.

Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, “We believe.”, and that they will not be tested?  (Quran 29:2)

Allah uses every aspect of our lives to test us–even down to the innate biological urges He instilled in us.  We must eat to live, but what we eat may be halal or haram.  We must drink to live, and again we must choose between halal and haram.  With our sexual urges, we must also choose between halal and haram.

Halal and haram.  Right and wrong.  Good and evil.  Those who submit to their Lord and those who do not submit.   Despite all of the unfathomable complexity of the universe, Allah has made our role in it easy and simple for us to understand.  At the same time, the free will that Allah allows us and the Mercy He extends to us make possible the seemingly infinite range of human behaviors and choices.

So when it comes to the myriad possibilities of human sexual activity, Allah helps us keep it simple–sex is only permissible between husband and wife.  That’s it.  Oh, how that simple rule tests us.  How many excuses, rationalizations and justifications we can give for breaking it.

But what if our parents say we’re too young or not suited to each other?  No.  What if I’m trapped in a loveless marriage? No.  What if I am attracted to a close family member such as a brother or a daughter?  No.  What if I’ve always only been attracted to my own gender?  No.  What if I’m trapped in the body of the opposite gender? No.  What if I’ve just met my soul mate, but we’re both already married to other people? No.  What if I was molested or abused and don’t want to have anything to do with  the opposite sex? No.  What if I have an overwhelming desire for children? No.  Animals? No.  But what if Allah made me this way?  No.    But what if  I’m a good person? No.  But what if I’m doing everything else right?  No.

All of us are tested in our sexuality.  As in all other aspects of life, the magnitude of the test is greater for some than it is for others.  Only Allah know why He chooses some of us for tests that batter us to our core–war, torture, abuse, rape, famine, slavery, concentration camps, refugee camps, internment camps.  Only Allah knows why he makes some of us deaf, blind, mute, crippled, insane, deformed or diseased. 

Yet there it is.  Our responsibility for our sexuality is not a lifestyle choice, not a genetic predisposition, a reasonable response to misery or the inevitable outgrowth of love.  Our sexuality is a moral issue–halal and haram.  Good and evil.  Those who submit to the Will of the Creator, and those who do not submit.  Our sexuality–everyone’s sexuality–is a test.

You will certainly be tried and tested in your possessions and in your personal selves; and you will certainly Hear much that will grieve you, from those who received the Book before you and from those who worship many gods. But if you persevere patiently, and guard against evil, then that will be a determining factor in all affairs. (Quran 3:186)